Gone Gaga in the City

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Oh the comedy, mystery, romance, and horror on the feed. First, there’s Clover the Cynic. Clover and Mooncake swapped mush on fb. Mooncake channeled “shy brainiac”–which I (the lurker) didn’t buy, because she tends to write a lot of stupid things on her wall, things she obviously doesn’t know much about. The writing on the wall was as good as waving a flag of ignorance, but Clover seemed smitten enough, or at least, he pretended to be.

Then came Yellowtooth Tigress, the thumbs-up girl. She goes like-it-love-this over anything Clover, especially his brooding lines. For all Clover’s cocky pretense, the arrival of the new character revealed a soft spot in him, which, in soaps,  is supposed to endear even the villain to the audience. This particular audience smelled something sushi then. Did he have a soft side or was he soft all along?

Clover began to show symptoms of falling head over heels for Yellowtooth Tigress. All of a sudden Mooncake was a broken, empty fortune cookie to him (which was a funny twist, actually, because she suddenly started appearing more frequently on Clover’s wall–obviously, in a desperate attempt to have him return to the great wall). He was friendly, though. Of course, he couldn’t burn bridges . . . in case it doesn’t work out with Yellowtooth Tigress.

Yellowtooth Tigress has always wanted Clover’s attention. Her act was the exact opposite of Mooncake’s. Where Mooncake had wanted to appear intelligent and opinionated by bantering with Clover, Yellowtooth Tigress was always “oh wow, right!” that I (the lurker) didn’t have difficulty imagining how she must have been jumping up and down and clapping her hands as she says this every time.

Clover’s insecurities were revealed eventually. He wasn’t sullen and mysterious, at all. He simply needed the secret identity. He was less than ordinary, a guy who wouldn’t merit a second glance in real life. He had good reason to hide a few things, like his receding hairline and beer belly, for instance. Yellowtooth Tigress shouldn’t be feeling so lucky now. Just the thought of a beer belly rubbing against you should be enough to make you throw up. Oh, but Clover gloats about that in his chronicles of falalalaland.

What is it with bandwidth that gives people the power to make themselves attractive? Fb does that to people.

Unfortunately, I haven’t seen Mooncake around lately. She could be busy with school for real, or she’s trying to mend a broken-fortune-cookie heart. Had she stayed long enough, she would have seen what I saw. She would have laughed at herself heartily, while cringing at the thought of having crushed on Clover. Her face would have been in a happy state of distortion. Like mine.

Note:

Don’t worry if you didn’t understand a word of this blog entry. You’re not supposed to. If you did, I’d be worried. It would mean that you have a crazier head than mine. It wasn’t my creative juices flowing but 2 fine bottles of Italian wine. Mmm, that rhymes.